Busking Romance 101: Bring Your Own Stage

Posted: July 25, 2009 in 1
Tags: , , , ,

Why do artists that play gigs in clubs and festivals gain more female attention than buskers on the street? Is it because they are more talented? No, because its is well known that a large portion of buskers has more talent than the avarage band that sells out Wembley Stadium.

The reason is to be found thanks to simple mathematics

ARTIST + STAGE = GROUPIES

These are Tokio Hotel groupies. Would they still go wild over a hermaphrodite if he/she was a busker?

Imagine Tokio Hotel busking, how long would they survive?

ARTIST – STAGE = LONELY BUSKER

no stage = no girls

no stage = no girls

The important factor in this equation is the STAGE

Now that we know this, we have the solution to the problem of the groupiely challenged busker: play on a stage!

Don’t just look for a pitch and start busking, but take your own stage with you. This can be your guitar case or an empty crate of beer, anything will do to lift you up (figuratively and literally) from the passing crowd. Standing on (even an improvised) stage makes you look more important with every inch between you and the pavement.

An artist on a stage gets more attention, because people still seem to think that you’re only allowed to be on one when you’ve got talent or an important message. For some darwinistic reason, important and talented people are sexually attractive.

Also, it gives you an aura of being untouchable. Youngsters that normally pass by and throw stuff at you while you’re busking will now tell there friends: “Don’t mess with him man! Can’t you see he’s on a stage?”

The measurements of the stage (hight, depth, …) are proportional to the number of members of the opposite sex that will give you their cellphone number. But don’t think that saying “The world is my stage!”, means half the human population is at your feet. I’m talking about an actual, physically present stage here.

Don’t overdo it though. Keep it small. There’s no need to attract more girls/guys during one hour of playing than you’ve ever talked to before.

The downside of busking on a small stage is that people tend to think you’re probably hired by someone to play and that an artist like you will be insulted if given any money as if you were an ordinary busker.

So it’s your choice: is human affection more important than money? If it is… get on stage!

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