What Should Buskers Believe In?

Posted: July 23, 2009 in 1
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Being a busker is not just a job (in fact it’s not at all) but also a way of life (or a poor excuse for one).  
Here’s some advise on where to stand regadering life’s important topics. 

Politics

When the streets are crowded with people walking to and from the voting bureaus, it might be a better idea to busk instead of going to vote yourself. Should you feel the urge to vote anyway, consider these criteria before choosing a party to give your vote to.

– Vote for a party that supports art but doesn’t know an Estrukian bowl from a Tupperware. They will probably think you are a real artist too.

– Since the chances of you knocking-up a hot girl after a one-night-stand are slim, you might as well vote pro-life, unless you feel your mother should have had an abortion to spare you from a life as a busker.

– Vote for a party that doesn’t believe in the concept of a “selfmade man”. They feel good about supporting struggling minorities like buskers.

Religion

Pick any religion which says that the harder your life sucks now, the more awesome your afterlife will be. Avoid believing in any religion that promotes reincarnation. Because Karma and Poetic Justice will screw you over and make you come back as a busker every time.

Family Values

Busker family life is not your avarage happily married couple with 2.4 children (buskers are usually the 0.4’s). Regarding family values it is strongly advised you be good to your parents, for you will still live with them at age 38.

Principles

Consider becoming a vegetarian. Eating meat will give you a healthy blush and a well-fed look. That’s not the kind of busker people give money to. As a vegetarian, you become part of a large network of dreadlocked anti-globalists that can provide you with addresses of squatting houses to sleep in.

Sexual Orientation

 Although busking is not the part of showbizz that attracts gay men (try the musical scene) there’s no reason not to be.

“Well, it beats listening to a busker”

 With the little sex buskers have, it’s best to keep your options open. It’s a bit like being straight in jail: your best bet is faking to be bi-sexual.

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